Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Predators on the most vulnerable


“I will take care of this, you no worry about it,” she said as she waved the invoice around. Repeatedly she stated, “I will take care of this, you no worry”. I wondered if she was suggesting my friend whom I will call Pearl here, was responsible for the $1266.75 finders fee?

That would have been in addition to the $4000 for a month at the Lilac Chateau, a facility for individuals with dementia and Alzheimer’s. Yet her late husband was only there 3 weeks. Did she not deserve $1000 back?

It is Xmas eve morning and Pearl’s husband passed less than 24 hours ago and she has to make decisions in her state of shock. She had to visit the mortuary to make final arrangements.

Three years ago I was there myself and know how valuable it is to have another person with you, if even for moral support. Someone who has a critical ear is even better. I volunteered to accompany her and was glad she did not reject my offer knowing that doing that alone is not the best of situations. Fortunately, my greatest fear was not realized. The staff were professional and there was NO high pressure sales pitch to “do the right thing for your loved one”.

After a few small errands and a quick lunch we drove to Lilac Chateau. The staff and the owner who insisted we sit first so we could “talk” greeted us effusively. There was no real conversation or exchange. Instead it was a barrage in which she claimed Pearl’s late husband frequently called her name. That when he asked for her they said she was shopping and would be coming soon.  What did she think she was doing?

Imagine how that felt to Pearl who had agonized over the decision to place her husband in a facility when it became too difficult for her to safely cope with the situation. Indeed some of her friends had been encouraging her to do so for months.

After this disturbing diatribe, the owner leads us to the garage where the rest of his possessions are in a box. This was when she started in the “I will take care of it” rant. Of course this is an entirely new development to Pearl who was expecting a 1 week refund that would have helped pay for the final arrangements.  In addition, she had signed in her state of distress a paper stating that should hospice be called there would be NO refund regardless. Later she told me she now understood why the owner kept pushing for hospice.

I had the foresight to snap a photo of the document with my phone before she snatched it away for investigation later. A Google search states this agency’s referrals are free.

This is absolutely disgraceful. No one is more vulnerable when they have lost a loved one. And in the first few hours and days, especially. She did NOT need any more grief.

Unfortunately, the less charitable side of me suspects the whole thing is staged. She knew she was putting Pearl further off balance with her comments and persisted in this before she presented the bill, hoping Pearl would pay it in all the confusion. My instincts upon meeting this woman told be to be guarded and her behavior certainly confirmed them.

Pearl is not a naïve person. She is a sophisticated world traveler, a woman with a college degree. Her husband was a college professor who had written a college level Chemistry textbook.   Imagine how easily such sharks can manipulate those with less education and experience!

Unfortunately there must be others who have had such an agonizing experience.


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